God has been sending me not-so-subtle reminders to be patient for the last week or two. Actually, some of them have been more of like a smack in the face (like the Catholic Newman Club officers deciding to do a reflection on patience at last week's meeting). But I've needed it.
As much as I hate running, I function best moving at a fast pace with everything else. I was one of those kids that as an undergrad, was in way too many extracurriculars, worked a job or two, took more than the normal amount of credits, and was more productive with an extra-large (that size isn't on the normal menu, you have to ask for it) french vanilla cappuccino from Tim Horton's than I was with an extra hour or two of sleep. I love being productive, crossing things off to-do lists, and going home exhausted at the end of the day because I got so much done.
Needless to say, every day can't be fast-paced. A lot of times, it's just humanly impossible to get things done in the time you'd like them to be finished. And honestly, it's just not good to be fast and hyper-productive all the time.
Even though I got a lot more work done during those days, I burned out at the end of my senior year. I remember pulling an all-nighter before my senior marketing plan presentation (a marketing major's equivalent to a thesis presentation) to make sure everything was perfect... and then blacked out during my own presentation (apparently I kept talking through it all, and I got a good grade for it, but all I remember from it is "waking up" halfway through a video I showed in the middle of my presentation, and I can't recall anything I said/did for the first half of my project).
I went through a lot of checklists in college. Yay! But I wasn't always around to just hang out with my friends, to Skype with my family, to spend a lot of time in prayer and reflection. I was too busy running a meeting, or finishing an extra project, or putting in a few more hours at work. There are definitely days now where I wonder what I missed out on.
Patience takes practice -- and a LOT of it. I'll probably always struggle with patience... and being impatient with people. I've slowed down a bit since my undergrad days (maybe that's because if I tried to survive on 3 hours of sleep and an extra-large coffee for another whole semester, I would be a very grumpy campus minister -- but I hope that I've also slowed down a little because I've learned something over the years).
It's more important to thank God for a beautiful day and notice the sunshine as I walk to my office than it is for me to take those ten minutes to be productive and answer e-mails on my phone as I dodge cars in the Kean parking lot (and it's safer, too). Waiting on another campus office to return an important phone call gives me a few minutes (or a few days) to talk with students about new programming ideas. In a few years, I know I'll remember the meaningful chat I had with a student
way more vividly than the 20 minutes I spent making sure my filing
cabinet was alphabetized.
Earlier this week, I woke up to a message from my Daily Bible phone app (yes, I am a Catholic nerd): "Better is the end of a thing than its beginning, and the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit." -- Ecclesiates 7:8 -- after this past week, I definitely needed that literal wake-up call.
A patient spirit is absolutely better than a spirit that's proud of their finished to-do list. Patience makes you appreciate the end of a project and the journey it took to get there, instead of being stressed about each individual stepping stone. It gives you a sense of the bigger picture of what you're doing, instead of confining your life to a checklist on a brightly-colored post-it. Patience gives you a look at your priorities, and your memories. Patience brings peace.
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